Horrible Boss

After seeing the preview for the movie Horrible Bosses it got me thinking about my former bosses I have had over the years.  I had one particular "horrible boss."  I worked at a local mini golf course during a few of my college years.  The owner's son (my manager) was there every day doing his normal duties, which included blowing the leaves and other debris off the two courses, keeping the grounds clean and nice, working on the games, stocking the coke machines, etc.  One of my main responsibilities was to open up shop in the mornings and count the cash drawer and the money in the safe before opening the doors to the public.  One morning I arrived 15 minutes earlier than I was scheduled for.  I remember that morning very clearly.  I walked in to find the manager counting all the money- you would think this would be normal, but it wasn't.  He was not usually the one to do this.  Only the owners (his parents) or the opening clerk (me on this particular day) did this.  He looked at me like I was crazy and asked why I was already at work.  I looked at the clock which revealed that time was 9:15am.  I was scheduled for 9:30am.  I explained that I was supposed to be there at 9:30am, but traffic was light that morning so I arrived early.  (Why was I even having to defend myself on this matter???)  He then proceeded to scold me for getting to work early.  Seriously?!?!?  I was getting in trouble for arriving 15 minutes EARLY for work.  Yeah- this is the kind of person I had to deal with on a daily basis.  There were many more incidents I had to put up with while working with this company, but that specific time just blew my mind.  And I won't get into it, but there were reasons he was not supposed to be counting the money.  Maybe I should have scolded him for doing MY job...grrrrr...

"If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter."
- John Gotti    --->  ha ha- just realized this is a quote by John Gotti....bet he was a better boss than the above mentioned.

"Freedom is never free." ~Author Unknown

Thank you to all those who serve in our military so that we may be free!  Here is one veteran's memory from service:

"I was in the Navy SeaBee's during the Viet Nam Conflict. They did not call It a War...LOL. War makes You Grow up Quicker. I was 19 when I arrived in Viet Nam and about 40 maturity wise when I left. You read the Bible more and Pray more in a War Zone. I was too Young and Invincible to be afraid......I'll never forget when we had a new Commanding Officer that had never been in a War Zone. He had us fall out for Dress Inspection at 0730 every morning. The VC watched this and Hit Us with Mortars one morning. I'll never forget how hard I laughed when He went  went spread eagle into a mud hole; also a mortar hit on each side of me and both were duds; what were the chances that both would be duds??? The Lord was looking after Me....  We never had a dress inspection the rest of His Command... Also, I'll never forget being Tower Captain on Christmas Eve Nite....I learned that God will help You through anything. Also, that different cultures do not value Life the way We do as Americans..."  By:  David Keene (my father-in-law)

"We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude."  ~Cynthia Ozick

Did you say Swine Flu?

In March 2010, while living in Pine Mountain, I found myself very sick one Monday morning.  I had a fever, the chills, aches and pains, a nasty cough, nauseated...you get the point- I was miserable.  I remember laying in bed wrapped in blankets crying all day.  I called Chris to see if he could come home from work- he couldn't.  I started feeling a little better after taking some OTC pain medicine.  It seemed to break my fever and also subsided the aches and pains.  I was hoping to wake up the next morning all fresh and new like the spring day ahead of me.  Fat chance.  I woke up worse than the day before- all the same symptoms, but I felt on the edge of death.  I called Chris crying again- begging him to come home to take me to the doctor.  This time he took me seriously and came straight home.  We drove to the local doctor office in town and of course they were going to lunch and would not be back for over an hour.  I told Chris I could not wait that long.  We drove to the next closest doctor office in a nearby town, but guess what?  That doctor office too had closed for lunch.  I felt so sorry for Chris because by this point I was a crying, moaning and groaning mess.  My memory recalls this Tuesday as a beautiful, sunny, birds chirping kind of day.  And here I was feeling like I was one step from the grave.  Chris took me back home, gave me some more OTC pain medicine and a snack.  He took me back to the first doctor office, which by now had a line waiting outside for them to open back up from their lunch break.  We got out and waited in line- this was pure agony because by now it hurt like crazy just to stand up.  After what seemed like an hour wait outside and inside, it was my turn to see the doctor.  They did all the normal stuff- took my temperature, listened to my lungs, looked in my ears, did a strep throat test, and also swabbed me for a flu test.  The doctor came back in and stated in her very serious tone, "You have type A flu.  Do you know what that is?"  I just looked her.  I assumed it was just the normal flu, but obviously it wasn't or she would not be asking me this like I was 5 years old.  I shook my head no.  "Honey, you have the swine flu,"  she explained- peering at me over her glasses.  "Oh.  Can I go get my husband?"  She said yes and out the door I went.  And I must admit I opened the door to the waiting room with a smug look on my face and announced proudly (yes, I said proudly) to Chris that I had the swine flu.  I did not realize he was not alone in the waiting room so I had a few strange and scared looks shot my way.  The reason I was so proud, you wonder?  Well, I was under the impression Chris did not believe I was that sick so this was my badge of honor...errrr....proof.  To wrap this story up- I had to get a painful shot in the hiney, we were both given Tamiflu, along with other medicines, to treat the swine flu.  We were also to stay quarantined at home for 5 days- that was the best part. 
“Being ill is one of the greatest pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged to work until one is better.” Samuel Butler

Guest Writer- "The Frog Story"

The Frog Story

By: Chris Keene

"There was this one time when I had the black camaro; we were driving back to Lawrenceville on I-75. I had been washing it at my parent's house. It was dark, and I had shorts on. Something was tickling my leg. I was trying to hide it from Amber. I turned on the dome light, and it was a cute little rain frog. Well, driving down the interstate at 70+ mph is not a good time to find a frog or another "critter" in my car, especially with Amber in there. Of course, Amber screams bloody murder, so I had to teach the frog how to fly going down the highway. Poor frog..."

*Poor frog?!?!?  Poor me!!!  This "cute little" frog was actually huge and stuck to my window...an inch from my face!!! 

Terrifying at the time, but funny story to share now.

Baseball Boy

One of the bonuses from majoring in criminal justice in college was the field trips.  The most memorable field trip I went on was to Arrendale State Prison (aka Alto).  Before it was a women's prison it was considered one of the most violent male prisons in Georgia.  Yes, our professor deemed this a safe and appropriate trip for first year criminal justice students.  When we all showed up for the van ride to the prison one of my fellow classmates ( a male) had on baseball pants.  Tight baseball pants....on a trip to a male prison which housed some of the most violent men in our state.  You should have seen our professor's face when he saw him.  He stated, "Please tell me you have something else to put on before we leave."  The kid just looked down at his pants and shook his head no.  He also seemed confused as to what was wrong with his attire.  Well, he found out about an hour later when our tour of the maximum security prison began.  The hoots and hollers were to be expected, but the men who were housed in this prison had absolutely no interest in us college girls.  Instead they gave 100% of their attention to "baseball boy."  I won't go into details,  but lets just say that there was a lot of inappropriate touching of body parts of the inmates while they yelled obscenities to this poor kid.  We all laughed...nervously because we were honestly scared to death.  I am guessing "baseball boy" changed his possibly soiled pants and his college major after we arrived safely back to the school's parking lot. 

Inappropriate Laughter

I laugh at inappropriate things.  Some may consider this a personality flaw.  I actually believe it helps us get through the hard times in life or in these cases the painful times in life.

Inappropriate time to laugh #1- Chris falling.....well, I would call it scooting on butt.....down the stairs at a museum in St Marys, Georgia.  All I remember is seeing him slide past me while we were making our way down the stairs.  I laughed so hard that I could not breathe.  I am laughing now at the memory.  Sorry love, but it was hilarious.  (Chris was not seriously harmed in this incident).

Inappropriate time to laugh #2- Chris almost breaking his ankle while we were competitively playing mini golf in Panama City Beach, Florida.  He stepped off the sidewalk and did a little "dance."  He was moaning and groaning while I laughed uncontrollably.  Sorry love, but it was hysterical.  (Chris was not seriously harmed in this incident either).

The good thing about me having this "problem" is that Chris ends up laughing too so the pain is short-lived.

Change of Name

Soooooo.......I decided to change the name of my blog to "My Bit of Focus" after reading this quote today-

"Life is short, God's way of encouraging a bit of focus."  ~Robert Brault

On a Desert Island with.....

Marie Claire magazine has a feature called "On A Desert Island With (insert famous person's name here).  So I thought I would do a "On A Desert Island With Amber Keene (not famous....yet...I like to think anyways).  Here are the items I would most want to be stranded with:

DVD:  This would really depend upon my mood on any given day, but one of my all-time faves is still Gladiator- who wouldn't want to stare at Russell Crowe in that outfit???

TV box set:  Buffy the Vampire Slayer- don't judge me.

Board game:  Uno- yes, I know this is not a board game, but I learned to play this all alone as a child and it can keep me entertained for quite some time.

Snack:  The 3 P's: pizza, pasta, and pie- of course you cannot gain weight while on this island so I can eat whatever my tummy desires.

Drink:  Water...and sweet tea....and coffee.

Toy:  Barbies- lame I know, but if I am stranded alone, then I would need some make-believe friends.

Website:  Blogger.com because Facebook can be too boring.  Blogging keeps the mind sharp in my opinion.

Please pass the lifesavers!

This morning in church our friend, Jason, offered me a lifesaver (thank you Jason- hope it was just a nice gesture and not because my breath was kickin).  This simple act reminded me of another Jason (a former co-worker) that once offered me a peppermint that I almost chocked to death on.  We had just finished lunch, and of course I accepted the peppermint because we were on a our way out to conduct home visits with clients (in my life before moving to Macon Co I was a juvenile probation officer).  I needed the fresh breath.  So I popped it into my mouth and immediately and accidentally swallowed the peppermint.  At first I was thinking, "Great....I didn't even get to enjoy it."  This thought was quickly replaced with, "Oh wow I am about to choke to death on this stupid peppermint!!!!!!"  I was grabbing my throat, slobbering all in my lap, eyes watering, hands began to flail....it was quite dramatic.  As my life began to flash before my eyes all I could think of was, "Man, I really was hoping to marry Chris before I died."  Then the peppermint decided to become unclogged and went flying out of my mouth and into my hands...along with what seemed like a gallon of sticky pepperminty spit.  I know- yuck.  Jason just looked at me and asked, "You ok?"  No helpful slap on the back while I was choking...just a, "You ok?"  At least I was able to keep the lifesaver safely in my mouth this morning since we are still new to this church- I would hate to embarrass myself this early on.

You know you are on vacation with Carolyn (Mom) when:

1.  You witness fast food drive-thru rage.

2.  Almost run out of gas on the interstate in 100 plus degree weather.

3.  She assaults a woman with a book because said woman had a worm on her.

4.  A hoarse rooster wakes you from sleep before the sun has come up.

5.  The CRV turns into a driveway going 60 mph on 2 wheels because she has spotted a yard sale.

Family Photo

Upon seeing this photo Chris stated, "I look like I just crapped my pants."



Top 5 things I love about my new home aka Macon County

So far (I have only lived here a little over a year now)...

1.  Troy's Snack Shack, Yoder's Deitsch Haus & Bakery (Mennonite restaurant), and Grover's Grits right down the street from our house.
2.  Montezuma's Beaver Creek Festival and Oglethorpe's Turkey Day and Deer Day- everyone shows up.
3.  No traffic- except for farm tractors.
4.  When we started a new church everyone there made us feel right at home and like we had been coming for years.
5.   Living a simpler life.

Top 5 things I miss about home aka Loganville

1.  Shane's Rib Shack, Nagoya, and El Ranchero right down the street from my house.
2.  People saying "Where's Loganville?" all the time.
3.  Living right next to Meridian Park.
4.  Mom was only 3 miles away instead of 3 hours.
5.  That feeling you get inside when you are "home."

Good girls gone bad

Favorite "Jess being bad" memory:

Jess, her best friend Grace, and another girl at our church decided it appropriate to eat the entire loaf of communion bread one Sunday.  Oh wait, not the entire loaf....they ate all the yummy insides of the bread and left the less desirable crust for the pastor to find.  This sacramental loaf was put aside for the shut-in church members...not just left out for whomever to devour.  Poor Jess....our Mom was very upset and doled out her punishment, which was to write an apology letter to the pastor.  She was a teenage girl so this was highly unfavorable in her eyes.  Her big sister still finds this exceptionally funny.  My memory fails me as to whether they finished off the grape juice too.  And we won't even go into the story where the pastor found her and Grace playing hide-and-seek in the choir robes.....

Wet hair

When Chris arrived home from work today this was our first conversation...

Chris:  Did you take a shower?
Me:  Yesssssss, can you not see that my hair is wet?
Chris:  Well, the other day your hair looked like you had just changed the oil in the car so I wasn't sure."

Come on- help a sista out!

Last Halloween my sister, Jess, came down for a visit.  We decided to go rent some horror movies at Music Mart in Americus.  As we were browsing through the "Chris will not watch this because it has torture in it" section a young man came into the store.  I must have had a come hither look on my face because he was instantly drawn to me.  Jess and I noticed this right away so we tried to keep busy and not make eye contact with him.  Of course when I try not to make eye contact all I can do is look in that direction.  So he bravely and in a painfully slow shuffle made his way over to me.  "Oh brother" I muttered under my breath.  I was going to be able to avoid him though because I had Jess there to help run interference.......good ol Jess....loving, sweet sister.....who just so happened to have abandoned me in the middle of the "are you sure we can watch this and still go to sleep tonight" aisle.  She had in fact made her way into the comedy section and was pretending she did not know me.  So there I was....he approached...asked me for my number without once looking me in the face.  I held up my hand and explained that I was married, then pointed at my tummy and revealed that I was pregnant (even though I was not showing yet).  Poor guy....and poor me.  Apparently Jess did not get the sister handbook or maybe she really did just want to see if they had the new Will Ferrell flick. 

Vagina cupcakes???

One night this week Chris and I were sitting on the couch casually scrolling through FB checking out what was going on with my friends when this post by BabyCenter came into view-

Make your own vagina cupcakes

http://blogs.babycenter.com/mo​m_stories/make-your-own-vagina​-cupcakes/

I was slightly embarrassed when I first saw it.  I tried to quickly scan past it so it would no longer be on the screen.  I glanced over at Chris to see if he had even seen the post, and this is what he said:

"Can you please make me some of those so I can take them to work tonight?"