From the time I was a child I wanted to be like my mother.....

I emailed these questions to Mom awhile back- I LOVE her answers!  She is just the sweetest Mom in the world.  I love her so much!

Do you remember what was going through your head when you first saw me?  I remember thinking how beautiful you were, and how I was amazed that you were looking at me right after you were born. I felt an instant connection and fell head over heels in love with you the moment I heard you cry (only your head was poking out at this time) and then when I saw you I was totally, totally, in love!

How did you choose my name?  I had a baby name book and I had made a list of favorite names on the back page of the book....Amanda, Heather, Holly, Beth, and lower on the list, Amber. Your dad made the ultimate decision because his Mom (Nanny) liked it best!

What was I like as a baby? As a young child?  You were a delightful baby! You did have colic after a month old that lasted about 9 months, but other than that you were happy and I just loved you and loved being with you. As a child you were very curious and extremely smart. You liked attention and would get it however you could...'Look me Mama, look what I can do!'.

Do you remember any of the songs you used to sing to me? Can you sing them now?  I sang a lot of the 'common' songs to you...Jesus Loves the Little Children, Jesus Loves Me, all the little nursery rhymes. Nanny sang 'You are my Sunshine' to you a lot. As you got older you liked the songs we heard on the radio and we liked to sing them together...Tina Turner (What's Love Got to Do With It) but with your own lyrics....Cock-a-doola, Cock-a-doola?

What were my siblings like?  Jess was your baby sister, but you acted like a little Mommy to her. She looked up to you and always wanted to do what you did.

What were the hardest moments you had when I was growing up? It was very hard for me to let you leave to visit your dad, the few times he exercised his visitation rights. It broke my heart. I didn't mind you going to Nanny and Papas, because I knew they watched you like a hawk, and I didn't mind my Mama and Ed watching you, but I didn't like leaving you with anyone else. I hated having to leave you with sitters in order to be able to work, but I was a single mom and had no choice. I was actually glad when I finally got a job with day hours and you could go to a daycare like 'normal' kids, even though day cares aren't ideal. I would say the hardest thing about your 'growing up' years was the whole 'child care' issue all the way up through middle school when you finally told me you weren't going to daycare anymore.

If you could do everything again, would you raise me differently?  Not really. I feel like you had a good raising. You grew up knowing right from wrong, were not overly spoiled, and you just turned out so good I can't really fault myself for anything I did wrong! LOL!

What advice would you give me about raising my own kids?  Be firm, but gentle. Spoil a little, but don't overdo it. Let them be kids, but give them a good background for adult life.

What are your dreams for me?  That you live a long and happy life with your husband and kids, accept love and friendship from others, and have a close relationship with God, and just be at peace with your life and live in joy.

How did you meet mom/dad?  I met your dad at Rose's department store when I was 17. I wasn't too crazy about him at first. I didn't think he was cute and he wore dorky clothes and he was sort of a 'hippy'. We started dating and after a year we got married.

Are you proud of me?  I am so proud of you! I have been all your life. Proud of what a good girl you were, how smart you were all through school, proud of your determination to graduate high school and college. Proud of you that you found a good Christian man and married him. Proud of you for the wonderful grandson you've given me. Proud that you are a good Christian woman and proud you are my daughter! So proud of all the 'little things' all through your life since you were born. Some times just silly stuff like a good grade on a test, or because you got a job, because you got an internship in the best county, proud when you were a middle school girl who stood by a friend who needed to see the counselor, for being nice to an 'unpopular' girl, proud of all the times you were able to 'rise above' the bad stuff, proud when you got your own place...the list goes on and on and on and on!

"We loved with a love that was more than love." ~Edgar Allan Poe

I sent Chris a questionnaire by email awhile back and after reading and rereading his answers, this was by far my favorite question and answer.  He just makes my heart melt and reassures me that I married my soulmate.  I love you, Chris! 
How did you know he/she was “the one”? We just have that connection. I feel 100% at home with her, no matter where we are. She is my best friend.

A Chris moment :)

It's funny how I will be watching TV with Chris sitting there playing on the computer and he will just say something that will throw me into fits of laughter.  I was watching The Doctors Monday evening while flipping through a magazine.  Chris had Greyson in his lap while playing on FB.  There was a woman on the show that had gotten hair extensions to help her round face appear slimmer.  Chris pondered aloud, "Maybe I should grow my hair long?"  I look over at his dead serious face....and busted out laughing.  Ahhhh....how I love him for making life humorous.

A Perfect Walk with Greyson

This evening I decided to take Greyson for a walk.  Just him and I.  Greyson loves loves loves to go for walks.  His Mimi, Granddaddy, and Nanny take him for walks.  Chris and I take him for walks.  He just enjoys it so much it has become a daily ritual now.  I strapped him into his carrier facing out so he could see everything that I could see.  This simple walk, which lasted a little over 20 minutes, was so peaceful, joyful, relaxing, and brought to me a new appreciation of the outside world.  It is fun walking with Greyson- I catch myself wondering what he sees, smells, feels, hears, and thinks.  We looked and talked about the trees, leaves, clouds, sky, etc.  Greyson and I watched a beautiful butterfly tease and flirt with us as we walked.  We could hear the birds singing us an evening song.  The sounds of a faraway train, the crickets, frogs, other critters, a curious dog nearby, cars and trucks out on the main road, children playing in a neighbor's backyard, and the nice, cool breeze blowing through the leaves filled our ears.  We soaked up the last bit of sun as it was setting behind the trees.  We passed by the buckeye tree near our house, and I thought of the buckeye Greyson's Granddaddy gave me (which I keep on my jewelry box).  I will save it for Greyson.  A busy little bee rushed by my face, but I do not yell out as I normally would.  I was enjoying this walk with my son too much to interrupt or ruin it with a nonsense scream.  Tonight was a great time for a walk- it felt splendid outside.  Some moments of this walk were spent in silence- just us- taking in all the beauty.  Other moments I would describe all that we were experiencing.  As we walked back up to our home, Greyson let out a big sigh.  Relieved the walk was over?  No, I think not.  Tired from the walk?  Maybe so.  A little sad that the walk was over?  Definitely.

Horrible Boss

After seeing the preview for the movie Horrible Bosses it got me thinking about my former bosses I have had over the years.  I had one particular "horrible boss."  I worked at a local mini golf course during a few of my college years.  The owner's son (my manager) was there every day doing his normal duties, which included blowing the leaves and other debris off the two courses, keeping the grounds clean and nice, working on the games, stocking the coke machines, etc.  One of my main responsibilities was to open up shop in the mornings and count the cash drawer and the money in the safe before opening the doors to the public.  One morning I arrived 15 minutes earlier than I was scheduled for.  I remember that morning very clearly.  I walked in to find the manager counting all the money- you would think this would be normal, but it wasn't.  He was not usually the one to do this.  Only the owners (his parents) or the opening clerk (me on this particular day) did this.  He looked at me like I was crazy and asked why I was already at work.  I looked at the clock which revealed that time was 9:15am.  I was scheduled for 9:30am.  I explained that I was supposed to be there at 9:30am, but traffic was light that morning so I arrived early.  (Why was I even having to defend myself on this matter???)  He then proceeded to scold me for getting to work early.  Seriously?!?!?  I was getting in trouble for arriving 15 minutes EARLY for work.  Yeah- this is the kind of person I had to deal with on a daily basis.  There were many more incidents I had to put up with while working with this company, but that specific time just blew my mind.  And I won't get into it, but there were reasons he was not supposed to be counting the money.  Maybe I should have scolded him for doing MY job...grrrrr...

"If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter."
- John Gotti    --->  ha ha- just realized this is a quote by John Gotti....bet he was a better boss than the above mentioned.

"Freedom is never free." ~Author Unknown

Thank you to all those who serve in our military so that we may be free!  Here is one veteran's memory from service:

"I was in the Navy SeaBee's during the Viet Nam Conflict. They did not call It a War...LOL. War makes You Grow up Quicker. I was 19 when I arrived in Viet Nam and about 40 maturity wise when I left. You read the Bible more and Pray more in a War Zone. I was too Young and Invincible to be afraid......I'll never forget when we had a new Commanding Officer that had never been in a War Zone. He had us fall out for Dress Inspection at 0730 every morning. The VC watched this and Hit Us with Mortars one morning. I'll never forget how hard I laughed when He went  went spread eagle into a mud hole; also a mortar hit on each side of me and both were duds; what were the chances that both would be duds??? The Lord was looking after Me....  We never had a dress inspection the rest of His Command... Also, I'll never forget being Tower Captain on Christmas Eve Nite....I learned that God will help You through anything. Also, that different cultures do not value Life the way We do as Americans..."  By:  David Keene (my father-in-law)

"We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude."  ~Cynthia Ozick

Did you say Swine Flu?

In March 2010, while living in Pine Mountain, I found myself very sick one Monday morning.  I had a fever, the chills, aches and pains, a nasty cough, nauseated...you get the point- I was miserable.  I remember laying in bed wrapped in blankets crying all day.  I called Chris to see if he could come home from work- he couldn't.  I started feeling a little better after taking some OTC pain medicine.  It seemed to break my fever and also subsided the aches and pains.  I was hoping to wake up the next morning all fresh and new like the spring day ahead of me.  Fat chance.  I woke up worse than the day before- all the same symptoms, but I felt on the edge of death.  I called Chris crying again- begging him to come home to take me to the doctor.  This time he took me seriously and came straight home.  We drove to the local doctor office in town and of course they were going to lunch and would not be back for over an hour.  I told Chris I could not wait that long.  We drove to the next closest doctor office in a nearby town, but guess what?  That doctor office too had closed for lunch.  I felt so sorry for Chris because by this point I was a crying, moaning and groaning mess.  My memory recalls this Tuesday as a beautiful, sunny, birds chirping kind of day.  And here I was feeling like I was one step from the grave.  Chris took me back home, gave me some more OTC pain medicine and a snack.  He took me back to the first doctor office, which by now had a line waiting outside for them to open back up from their lunch break.  We got out and waited in line- this was pure agony because by now it hurt like crazy just to stand up.  After what seemed like an hour wait outside and inside, it was my turn to see the doctor.  They did all the normal stuff- took my temperature, listened to my lungs, looked in my ears, did a strep throat test, and also swabbed me for a flu test.  The doctor came back in and stated in her very serious tone, "You have type A flu.  Do you know what that is?"  I just looked her.  I assumed it was just the normal flu, but obviously it wasn't or she would not be asking me this like I was 5 years old.  I shook my head no.  "Honey, you have the swine flu,"  she explained- peering at me over her glasses.  "Oh.  Can I go get my husband?"  She said yes and out the door I went.  And I must admit I opened the door to the waiting room with a smug look on my face and announced proudly (yes, I said proudly) to Chris that I had the swine flu.  I did not realize he was not alone in the waiting room so I had a few strange and scared looks shot my way.  The reason I was so proud, you wonder?  Well, I was under the impression Chris did not believe I was that sick so this was my badge of honor...errrr....proof.  To wrap this story up- I had to get a painful shot in the hiney, we were both given Tamiflu, along with other medicines, to treat the swine flu.  We were also to stay quarantined at home for 5 days- that was the best part. 
“Being ill is one of the greatest pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged to work until one is better.” Samuel Butler

Guest Writer- "The Frog Story"

The Frog Story

By: Chris Keene

"There was this one time when I had the black camaro; we were driving back to Lawrenceville on I-75. I had been washing it at my parent's house. It was dark, and I had shorts on. Something was tickling my leg. I was trying to hide it from Amber. I turned on the dome light, and it was a cute little rain frog. Well, driving down the interstate at 70+ mph is not a good time to find a frog or another "critter" in my car, especially with Amber in there. Of course, Amber screams bloody murder, so I had to teach the frog how to fly going down the highway. Poor frog..."

*Poor frog?!?!?  Poor me!!!  This "cute little" frog was actually huge and stuck to my window...an inch from my face!!! 

Terrifying at the time, but funny story to share now.

Baseball Boy

One of the bonuses from majoring in criminal justice in college was the field trips.  The most memorable field trip I went on was to Arrendale State Prison (aka Alto).  Before it was a women's prison it was considered one of the most violent male prisons in Georgia.  Yes, our professor deemed this a safe and appropriate trip for first year criminal justice students.  When we all showed up for the van ride to the prison one of my fellow classmates ( a male) had on baseball pants.  Tight baseball pants....on a trip to a male prison which housed some of the most violent men in our state.  You should have seen our professor's face when he saw him.  He stated, "Please tell me you have something else to put on before we leave."  The kid just looked down at his pants and shook his head no.  He also seemed confused as to what was wrong with his attire.  Well, he found out about an hour later when our tour of the maximum security prison began.  The hoots and hollers were to be expected, but the men who were housed in this prison had absolutely no interest in us college girls.  Instead they gave 100% of their attention to "baseball boy."  I won't go into details,  but lets just say that there was a lot of inappropriate touching of body parts of the inmates while they yelled obscenities to this poor kid.  We all laughed...nervously because we were honestly scared to death.  I am guessing "baseball boy" changed his possibly soiled pants and his college major after we arrived safely back to the school's parking lot. 

Inappropriate Laughter

I laugh at inappropriate things.  Some may consider this a personality flaw.  I actually believe it helps us get through the hard times in life or in these cases the painful times in life.

Inappropriate time to laugh #1- Chris falling.....well, I would call it scooting on butt.....down the stairs at a museum in St Marys, Georgia.  All I remember is seeing him slide past me while we were making our way down the stairs.  I laughed so hard that I could not breathe.  I am laughing now at the memory.  Sorry love, but it was hilarious.  (Chris was not seriously harmed in this incident).

Inappropriate time to laugh #2- Chris almost breaking his ankle while we were competitively playing mini golf in Panama City Beach, Florida.  He stepped off the sidewalk and did a little "dance."  He was moaning and groaning while I laughed uncontrollably.  Sorry love, but it was hysterical.  (Chris was not seriously harmed in this incident either).

The good thing about me having this "problem" is that Chris ends up laughing too so the pain is short-lived.

Change of Name

Soooooo.......I decided to change the name of my blog to "My Bit of Focus" after reading this quote today-

"Life is short, God's way of encouraging a bit of focus."  ~Robert Brault

On a Desert Island with.....

Marie Claire magazine has a feature called "On A Desert Island With (insert famous person's name here).  So I thought I would do a "On A Desert Island With Amber Keene (not famous....yet...I like to think anyways).  Here are the items I would most want to be stranded with:

DVD:  This would really depend upon my mood on any given day, but one of my all-time faves is still Gladiator- who wouldn't want to stare at Russell Crowe in that outfit???

TV box set:  Buffy the Vampire Slayer- don't judge me.

Board game:  Uno- yes, I know this is not a board game, but I learned to play this all alone as a child and it can keep me entertained for quite some time.

Snack:  The 3 P's: pizza, pasta, and pie- of course you cannot gain weight while on this island so I can eat whatever my tummy desires.

Drink:  Water...and sweet tea....and coffee.

Toy:  Barbies- lame I know, but if I am stranded alone, then I would need some make-believe friends.

Website:  Blogger.com because Facebook can be too boring.  Blogging keeps the mind sharp in my opinion.

Please pass the lifesavers!

This morning in church our friend, Jason, offered me a lifesaver (thank you Jason- hope it was just a nice gesture and not because my breath was kickin).  This simple act reminded me of another Jason (a former co-worker) that once offered me a peppermint that I almost chocked to death on.  We had just finished lunch, and of course I accepted the peppermint because we were on a our way out to conduct home visits with clients (in my life before moving to Macon Co I was a juvenile probation officer).  I needed the fresh breath.  So I popped it into my mouth and immediately and accidentally swallowed the peppermint.  At first I was thinking, "Great....I didn't even get to enjoy it."  This thought was quickly replaced with, "Oh wow I am about to choke to death on this stupid peppermint!!!!!!"  I was grabbing my throat, slobbering all in my lap, eyes watering, hands began to flail....it was quite dramatic.  As my life began to flash before my eyes all I could think of was, "Man, I really was hoping to marry Chris before I died."  Then the peppermint decided to become unclogged and went flying out of my mouth and into my hands...along with what seemed like a gallon of sticky pepperminty spit.  I know- yuck.  Jason just looked at me and asked, "You ok?"  No helpful slap on the back while I was choking...just a, "You ok?"  At least I was able to keep the lifesaver safely in my mouth this morning since we are still new to this church- I would hate to embarrass myself this early on.

You know you are on vacation with Carolyn (Mom) when:

1.  You witness fast food drive-thru rage.

2.  Almost run out of gas on the interstate in 100 plus degree weather.

3.  She assaults a woman with a book because said woman had a worm on her.

4.  A hoarse rooster wakes you from sleep before the sun has come up.

5.  The CRV turns into a driveway going 60 mph on 2 wheels because she has spotted a yard sale.

Family Photo

Upon seeing this photo Chris stated, "I look like I just crapped my pants."



Top 5 things I love about my new home aka Macon County

So far (I have only lived here a little over a year now)...

1.  Troy's Snack Shack, Yoder's Deitsch Haus & Bakery (Mennonite restaurant), and Grover's Grits right down the street from our house.
2.  Montezuma's Beaver Creek Festival and Oglethorpe's Turkey Day and Deer Day- everyone shows up.
3.  No traffic- except for farm tractors.
4.  When we started a new church everyone there made us feel right at home and like we had been coming for years.
5.   Living a simpler life.

Top 5 things I miss about home aka Loganville

1.  Shane's Rib Shack, Nagoya, and El Ranchero right down the street from my house.
2.  People saying "Where's Loganville?" all the time.
3.  Living right next to Meridian Park.
4.  Mom was only 3 miles away instead of 3 hours.
5.  That feeling you get inside when you are "home."

Good girls gone bad

Favorite "Jess being bad" memory:

Jess, her best friend Grace, and another girl at our church decided it appropriate to eat the entire loaf of communion bread one Sunday.  Oh wait, not the entire loaf....they ate all the yummy insides of the bread and left the less desirable crust for the pastor to find.  This sacramental loaf was put aside for the shut-in church members...not just left out for whomever to devour.  Poor Jess....our Mom was very upset and doled out her punishment, which was to write an apology letter to the pastor.  She was a teenage girl so this was highly unfavorable in her eyes.  Her big sister still finds this exceptionally funny.  My memory fails me as to whether they finished off the grape juice too.  And we won't even go into the story where the pastor found her and Grace playing hide-and-seek in the choir robes.....

Wet hair

When Chris arrived home from work today this was our first conversation...

Chris:  Did you take a shower?
Me:  Yesssssss, can you not see that my hair is wet?
Chris:  Well, the other day your hair looked like you had just changed the oil in the car so I wasn't sure."

Come on- help a sista out!

Last Halloween my sister, Jess, came down for a visit.  We decided to go rent some horror movies at Music Mart in Americus.  As we were browsing through the "Chris will not watch this because it has torture in it" section a young man came into the store.  I must have had a come hither look on my face because he was instantly drawn to me.  Jess and I noticed this right away so we tried to keep busy and not make eye contact with him.  Of course when I try not to make eye contact all I can do is look in that direction.  So he bravely and in a painfully slow shuffle made his way over to me.  "Oh brother" I muttered under my breath.  I was going to be able to avoid him though because I had Jess there to help run interference.......good ol Jess....loving, sweet sister.....who just so happened to have abandoned me in the middle of the "are you sure we can watch this and still go to sleep tonight" aisle.  She had in fact made her way into the comedy section and was pretending she did not know me.  So there I was....he approached...asked me for my number without once looking me in the face.  I held up my hand and explained that I was married, then pointed at my tummy and revealed that I was pregnant (even though I was not showing yet).  Poor guy....and poor me.  Apparently Jess did not get the sister handbook or maybe she really did just want to see if they had the new Will Ferrell flick. 

Vagina cupcakes???

One night this week Chris and I were sitting on the couch casually scrolling through FB checking out what was going on with my friends when this post by BabyCenter came into view-

Make your own vagina cupcakes

http://blogs.babycenter.com/mo​m_stories/make-your-own-vagina​-cupcakes/

I was slightly embarrassed when I first saw it.  I tried to quickly scan past it so it would no longer be on the screen.  I glanced over at Chris to see if he had even seen the post, and this is what he said:

"Can you please make me some of those so I can take them to work tonight?"

"Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find resources of strength that will endure as long as life lasts." ~Rachel Carson

Chris and I were blessed enough to spend one year living in the beautiful town of Pine Mountain, Ga.  We spent most of that year hiking.  It was an incredible experience that neither of us will ever forget.

"You need special shoes for hiking - and a bit of a special soul as well."  ~Emme Woodhull-Bäche

"God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on trees and flowers and clouds and stars." ~ Martin Luther

"Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better." ~ Albert Einstein

"Reading about nature is fine, but if a person walks in the woods and listens carefully, he can learn more than what is in books, for they speak with the voice of God." ~George Washington Carver

"Nature is too thin a screen; the glory of the omnipresent God bursts through everywhere." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"My father considered a walk among the mountains as the equivalent of churchgoing." ~Aldous Huxley

"I dream of hiking into my old age."  ~Marlyn Doan

"In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks."  ~John Muir

"We live in a fast-paced society.  Walking slows us down."  ~Robert Sweetgall

"An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day."  ~Henry David Thoreau

"There is nothing like walking to get the feel of a country.  A fine landscape is like a piece of music; it must be taken at the right tempo.  Even a bicycle goes too fast."  ~Paul Scott Mowrer, The House of Europe

"Walking gets the feet moving, the blood moving, the mind moving.  And movement is life."  ~Terri Guillemets

"If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking.  Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk."  ~Raymond Inmon

Just a typical night at home

This is why I love Chris so much.  This is why I married him. 

Last night while he was rocking Greyson to sleep we were having a conversation about potty training.  Chris:  "I knew a guy in high school that was still crapping in his pants." 

Chris said he liked it much better when I just played on FB. :)

Things not to say to your wife....

....who just had a baby...

Chris and I were recently sitting on the couch reading an article about an incident where two babies were switched at birth for about 8 hours.  Me:  "I would not be able to control my emotions if this happened to me."  Chris:  "You cannot even control your emotions now."  Thanks, babe.  I love you too.  Of course he retracted and said that is not what he meant.  Uh huh.  Suuuuuure.  Of course I almost cried when he said it, but I would not allow my "emotions" to get the best of me.  No way- no how. 

I guess we are even though because I did say he had Fred Flintstone feet (he does) and that his pinky toe looks like it was supposed to be a finger (you will have to see for yourself).

*Giggle*

Ok, my Mom is known for her hilarious text messages.  We (Jess and I) often get texts that have to be decoded because Mom leaves the predictive text on.  Others are just plain funny.  Yesterday I was having a yucky day and this is what I received: 

"I had a man offer to help me get my groove back yesterday...I asked was it obvious I had lost it?"

Yes, this lifted the "I strongly dislike some people" funk I was in, and I went to bed with a big giggle in my heart.  I love you, Mom!!!

All in a Name

I have no idea how to blog- just wanted to throw that out there right from the start so you will not have high expectations or be highly disappointed when you finish reading my thoughts.  So I figured my first post should explain the title of my blog.  All growing up my nickname was Monk Monk (and still is).  I am pretty sure my Mom started this loving moniker.  I am also sure at some point I thought this was actually a part of my name.  I have always associated this name with love and happiness.  It is a part of me.  Up until 4 months ago this Saturday that was me- just Monk Monk.  On March 23, 2011 a precious gift from God came into my life.  Greyson Alexander Keene has provided me with a new label: Mommy. :)  Equally associated with feelings of love and happiness, but on a whole new level.  Anyways, back to Monk Monk- Jess (my little, but much taller than me sister) grew up calling me this as well.  We would be in Walmart and Jess would say something and attach Monk Monk to it.  People would look at us so strange.  I would shoot mean looks back of course.  Now looking back I wonder:  were they giving the strange looks because she was calling me Monk Monk (or just Monk for short) or because they thought she was calling me Mom???  Hmmmm.....Anywho- I cannot wait for the day Greyson can say Mommy, Mom, Mama or whatever he may call me.  I know the same sweet emotions that I feel when my Mom still calls me Monk after almost 30 years will well up inside me and make me smile with pure love.